September 22, 2008
Since becoming a mum I have truly learned the meaning of, among many things, patience. Of enjoying the present moment even if it is challenging.
One evening, a few months ago, when the calming/settling/putting to sleep phase was taking much longer than usual I became aware of patience in its fullness. I was hungry for dinner and desperate to sit down and talk with Daniel. I was tired, needy of a shower and a pillow. I didn't really want to be spending so much time getting Che into bed. As I sat in his room singing to him, chanting to him, rocking him, I became aware of the preciousness of the moment. How lucky I was to be spending these quiet moments before sleep with my little boy.
After he was asleep and dreaming I crept out of the room and went to Daniel. "You've really got to try and enjoy times like that don't you. Because if you become tense and annoyed by the situation you're just going to end up loathing it, eh?" He agreed.
In the last few weeks I've come to know what the morning looks like when you rise with the sun. When you awake to a little face pressed against yours or if you're unlucky, your hair being pulled. Every morning I have wished for just a bit more sleep. And I must admit, I'm not fantastic at getting up and dealing with the day when it is so so early. But this morning I got up and got going, pottering about as Che crawled along behind me.
And I was treated with beautiful spring light pouring in from outside. I placed Che on the chair and chatted to him as he sat there. I grabbed the camera and as I snapped away I managed to observe so many little nuances - little outbursts of happiness, moments of wonder, utter cheekiness. Perhaps it was my reward for being patient.
He's almost one. I just can't believe it.