Saturday, May 9, 2009

i don't know where i'd be if i had never found yoga


I truly don't know where I'd be. Along with my mum's encouragement and my deep desire to finally finally finally do something for the goodness of my body I attended my first yoga class at 10am on a Monday morning, a few weeks before my 21st birthday.

I was in the throes of ending a long and destructive relationship. A relationship that was wrong for so many reasons. It was difficult to escape from and when I did I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

I remember walking, waif-like, across the studio floor. I was 46kg but I felt heavy. Music, something like this, was playing softly and nag champa was filling the air. I sat down, cross-legged, and waited for the class to begin.

The teacher, Mardi, sat in front of the class and led us through a short relaxation. She asked us to breathe. Through our nose and into our belly. I felt tears prick my eyes because within a few minutes I realised that I hadn't felt the breath in my body for so long. It felt like I hadn't breathed in three years. I hadn't been in my body.

I continued to attend that Monday morning class. And then one class a week wasn't enough. I started going twice, three times, sometimes four times a week. I began to notice contentment within myself. Happiness. And strength. Physically and mentally. I felt light. I was experiencing a change within me. And subsequently, a change around me. I became aware of my body and my self. How truly wonderful it is to breathe deep and move your body, flowing, through a series of energising postures. I was flowing.

I cancelled a trip to London and enrolled in yoga teacher training instead. I stayed at an ashram for two weeks and lived yoga. Rising with the sun to awaken my body with gentle yoga practices and breathing techniques. Eating vegetarian wholefood and finding beauty in simplicity - like an om symbol etched into the ground.

I felt new. Refreshed. Revived. All those wonderful things.

I am always so grateful to my Mum for guiding me in the direction of the studio at that time. Mardi, my first yoga teacher at that Monday morning yoga class is now my mother-in-law. If I hadn't have found yoga, and discovered awareness and contentment and goodness within me, I wonder if I would have found Daniel. On the eve of Mother's Day I am ever so thankful for the synchronicity that led me to the studio that day and for the ongoing journey I am on. Because yoga changed me. And now I am a Mother. To a baby yogi who holds his hands in prayer at hridaya mudra, his heart space, and says namaste the spirit within me honours and respects the spirit within you.

Happy Mother's Day.
Your Mother is your first teacher.
Always.
Perhaps your Mother is your first
Guru

Inspired by Yoga and Me

17 comments:

  1. as always jodi, so touching and full of soul. best wishes for a wonderful day, tomorrow and every day, with your two boys! x

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  2. yes, mothering is so very important. if it isn't done properly and with great care and presence of mind and heart, it can be a great source of pain for everyone involved. when my first child was born i found it necessary to re-turn to my childhood or my inner child and re-mother myself in a more gentle, positive fashion. i needed to re-teach myself what it REALLY means to be a mother. it's benn worth the effort, without a doubt. and yoga and meditation have been key to that transformation.

    thank you for this post, Jodi.

    happy mothers day.

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  3. Beauriful, beautiful post. I can relate to this so much! Yoga has transformed my body and my spirit; it was life changing.

    What a wonderful tribute to your mother.

    Happy Mothers day Jodi!

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  4. Wow, that's beautiful. If everyone practiced yoga, we would have world peace.

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  5. thank you for this post. how serendipitous, your meeting of yoga and your future MIL. i have been missing yoga in my life for so long. it's a little unreal how much i've procrastinated when i know darned well it is exactly what i need.
    you are so inspiring.

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  6. this is great. and so true!

    thanks for your comment the other day. My husband actually thinks im crazy when i change the sheets. He has a very low standard ;) but it is the best feeling! he just hates to remake the bed...what a bum.

    have a wonderful weekend!

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  7. i got here via ladybug-zen, and just had to take a moment to tell you how beautiful that post was! my first meeting with youga and meditation happened when i was sixteen, and it has made a huge impact on my life. sadly, i haven't been able to do much yoga the past year due to wrist problems, but your post makes me want to try again.

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  8. It frightens me, the role of motherhood and how it's the most important one. It frightens me because I'm a mother! And I don't want to recreate how I was mothered. Of course, fearing this is exactly how I will re-create how I was mothered! I need to mother with more care and presence of mind and heart. Maybe I will start yoga again, and this will help.
    It helped me to open up in the beginning too...now I need it again.

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  9. Ah, what lovely synchronicity. My practice is small. Sometimes it's standing in the aisle at the supermarket, sitting, stirring the coffee or tea or a pot of red lentil soup. I salute the sun but have just returned to being more present in it. I feel myself stiffening, hardening to things around me and it's affecting my poise and breath and I need to let it go a little - or a lot. Flux. Movement and change is upon us, me, and I need to be more fluid and breathe it in a little more willingly.
    Happy Mother's Day. Snuggle to that little one on our rainy day.
    PS: Life charged at me when I arrived home Friday, so no visits to your cafe suggestion. Soon I hope. Sydney for the next two weekends and then I think I'll need to sit, coffee in hand and read - I'll let you know when I'm heading out and up and if you're free come too.

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  10. Darling Jodi,
    Have just read your beautiful post, about being introduced to Yoga at that very difficult time !
    Am so pleased you took my advice,because look what you have given Dad and I !Our precious Che who brings us so much love and joy, and not forgeting our lovely son and law !Thankyou for being my one and only beautiful girl love Mum www

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  11. what a lovely story : ) happy mother's day to you!

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  12. a beautiful story. I'm so happy for you that you came across a practice that helped you so much. I remember times when I was younger (between 19 and 21, and later when I was 23 and 24) when yoga was a saving grace for me too.

    as a teacher, it is a blessing to know that you are very well serving others who have come to your class, knowingly and unknowingly, seeking some kind of healing and release.

    have a lovely day,

    Jessica

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  13. Such an inspiring post. Maybe I need to go back to yoga.

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  14. Beautiful Mothers day story, not that i am surprised that your mum would be so sweet

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  15. I recently got back into yoga, sort of, i hurt myself by over-doing it, lol, but I'm keen and will try again tomorrow. I hope it does some of what it did for you.

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  16. a beautiful story - do you know of classes near killcare/macmasters?
    i tried yoga in the backyard with friends from sydney a few weeks ago and felt instinctively it was something i needed to do. I'd like to try. something in the practice released emotions in a really powerful way.

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