I like the process of looking over the day through photographs. Of seeing things so easily missed by the busy wandering eyes of a muma. Another day and another challenging toddler. But just now looking over these glimpses of the last few days I realise that he needs space. He's happiest with his tiny happy foraging bag and the wide berth of the beach. Today I watched as he climbed over all the rocks with the agility and, might I say grace, of a boy. I didn't have to remind him to 'watch out for...' instead I kept my mouth shut and just observed. The beauty of the observer. He found a 'road of shells' and chased the seagulls and nattered to himself about his findings. He spent his time in his world without the need for me to be right there beside him.
In his stepping away I am noticing his independence and his wild and ever-so-wondrous imagination. The look on his face as he contemplates and discovers. It's hard for me to step away because I've been right there beside him for ever now. When I ask him to pack up because it's time to go, when I rush those little legs along because we're running a bit late, when I guide him into my day...that's when the challenge begins.
And so these spaces of time at the beach or at the park need to be longer and more frequent. It's time for me to change our days a bit, create a different space for him. Where he has the time to do things that he wants to do, outside in the warmth of the sun. And I'll watch. And smile.
A friend of mine told me that her little boy inspired so much of her soul searching. Indeed, that is my journey at the moment.